This post may be a little too personal. So if you’re here to look at happy wedding pictures, please skip right over this. It won’t hurt my feelings one bit.
Last week I lost a good friend. His name was John, although I never called him that. Why? Because I usually said, “Hey man!” instead. I have always had a thing about calling people by the wrong name… until now.
Losing him really changed me. I knew I’d lose friends to death over my lifetime, but I hoped it would never be on their own terms. At first I started to analyze who else in my life might be at risk, but honestly, that’s no way to live. John was the last person I’d ever have thought of. That’s part of why it’s been so tough to cope.
In the frustration, anger, hurt, and tears last week, I made a few resolutions. They may not be earth shattering to you (in fact, I’m sure they won’t be), but for me & those who know me well… it’s quite a change.
1) I’m now a hugger. I will hug people. Why? Because John gave tons of hugs, yet I never really gave good hugs back. I’ve never really been a hugger, but people like John have been slowly winning me over the last few years. It’s become a joke in my circle of friends because I’ve never been in love with hugs, but honestly, I’ve started to realize that I kind-of-maybe-just-a-little-bit like hugs. So no more joking, no more awkward side hugs. Just hugs. I would give just about anything to get one of his hugs again.
2) I will use people’s names. I always catch myself right before I use a name because oh my goodness what if I call someone by the wrong name?! Well, if that happens, then I’ll apologize and go on with life. I’m pretty sure it’ll all be okay if I get a name wrong every now and then. There’s something powerful about hearing your name said out loud in casual conversation. I know it makes me feel special, and I certainly want to make those around me feel special.
I’ve started putting these two things into practice, and it feels good! Slowly, my joy is returning & I’m getting back to my old self again. I can’t bring John back, but I can honor his name & spread the happiness & joy that he shared with everyone he met.